She is in my trunk
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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