You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
