He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
