areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
