I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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