You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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