Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
