The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i will never coherently bang her
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
