Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
