you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
