whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
