You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
