just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
bring money and cleavage
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
