Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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