just come out here and I will go home with you...
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize