im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize