i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
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