Farmville is her only friend.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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