why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize