hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
