so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
