The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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