for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
