I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
