Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
