he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
