checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
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Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
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Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
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