Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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