I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
