Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
no, he came in my armpit
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
