In the future we'll all be gay
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Randomize
