Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Enjoy the penises
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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