Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
