nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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