I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
