you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
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That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
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Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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