Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
