Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
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the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
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Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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