69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
So squirting runs in the family.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
