just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
