the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
