You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
