I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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