How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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