Don't make out with my wife yet
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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