come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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