Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
