I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
