i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
