i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
