come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
