Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
