I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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