I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
