take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
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Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
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My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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