420 ftw
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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