That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
