If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
