he fucked my hip out of place.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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