i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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