You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
