Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
