In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
